Poetry

It may not be poetry to you, but to me, these are the dancings of my thoughts, the winding of my words, and that, to me, is poetry, albeit only the ones I feel are worthy.


Grieve - A Journey (February 20th, 2011)
{written when I finally allowed myself to grieve over leaving Cameroon... probably my favourite and most popular}

After so long of pushing it back
After so long ignoring the facts
Now that I know the path ahead,
My heart starts to soften and dread

So many memories
Still vivid and right
"hop-grassers" and bugs so bright
The laughter of swimming
Running through trees

The pain that it will never
Be the same.

So much left behind,
Now covered in dust,
The bedrooms are empty,
The animals are gone.

As I lay here, remembering it all,
Elephant grass swaying in the wind
Mangoes sweet, and sunset red
The tears start to fall,
And I start to
Heal.

My heart remembers,
Oh, so well.
As the pillow muffles the sobs

And yet through the pain,
A voice gently calls,
"Trust me."

He's never been gone,
His eye is on me,
I know the path's right
and yet I grieve.

And as the tears dry,
Collected and precious,
I remember all He's done
For me.

That voice so persistently calling
"Trust me."

So I stand on my feet,
turn the music on high,
and dance in the knowledge
that He knows...
Why.


Love (March 20th, 2011)

So often when I look around
there are people
without a sound
longing to be loved.

But when I'm among them
Only casual greetings pass my lips
And when alone I search
and find
that I'm afraid.

Afraid of what might happen
if I let go
Fearful of the repercussions
of letting my heart show

To open my arms
and heart to a world of need
Takes one who is higher than me
I am so used
to saying good-bye
Of tears and uprooted feelings

Through it all,
My heart's gotten wise
And built a wall
Tall and wide

So each day I work
Taking, brick by brick,
Apart this wall of
Shelter my heart has built.

 And with new eyes enter
A world that is pleading
to know the One above
So, taking my chances...

I let go of fear
Of reproof, dismissal, disdain,
and open wide a helping heart
Realizing what love's really about

It's not about feelings
although those play a part
It's a choice to let go
Of getting dirty and low...

 And allowing the hurt,
The pain and the dirt
Finding that love...
is about holding nothing back.

Come (January 29th, 2011)
{song}

"Come,"
He invites me
Softly compelling
One word of Love
Mercy so great
Sin washed away

Now I stand clean
Ready to
"Come."

Be in His presence
know of His plan
Now life's not all sunshine
But holding His hand:

The valleys are brighter
the mountain tops clearer
All because I surrender
and "Come."

Oh, what great pity
for those who don't know
Peace overflowing
Filling my soul

He's there beside me
All along the way
Saying softly
"Come."

So, I dance in His presence,
Sing of His glory,
bask in His name,

So glad that I chose to
"Come."


The Bigger Picture ( Dec. 2010)


As I was walking in the wintry world outside,
My eye caught a branch silhouetted on a building
And my heart soared free
For a moment seeking eternity

There is so much beauty, so much poian
in this thing that we call life
Where will it end? Whta will it lead to?
Will it leave me old an gray, but full of memory?
Or bitter as to the way things turn out?

And yet to breath the cool morning air
catch the dying gasps of the setting sun
hear laughter and witnes new birth
Makes it all worth it, somehow,
no matter how things turn out

And then to look deeper,
To see One who loves
So much so that from up above
He sent salvation

Looking out, the world is brighter
Peace in my soul, beauty all around
I only wish that I could say it
more profoundly

The beauty that I'm seeing,
is not without meaning,
and I intend to find it out.

Surrender (Dec. 2010)
{written when the decision about whether or not to go back to Cameroon this year or not was still unmade - part of the decision was up to me, in that it was my Grade 12 year}

The streaks of the blazing sun
splashed across the snow
brings such reluctance to leave this way of life
How should I choose? My heart or my heart?
Both are in these places, so very far apart

There: uplifted, glowing faces of children
Such obvious need and yet oblivious faith and hope
So much to see and discover
New things to experience, lessons to be learned
A place abounding in tradition, love
And wide-open arms
A place where my heart beats steadily - Africa!

And yet... here!
More memories, more roots,
more friends, more opportunity
Crumbling buildings, textured people
Small town feel
Big blue skies, golden fields
Full of laughs - Alberta!

How am I ever to choose and not
wonder what could've happened?

And then it struck me, as I paused
and looked up to the sky

I don't have to...
I know Someone who can.

Dancing (Jan. 27th, 2011)
{this is more like a song}

So I'm dancing
knowing that You're with me
Dancing,
Reveling, in Your pure sight

You've made a plan
You know my way
What more can I do
than freely give myself to You?

Dancing,
in the joy of Your presence
the peace that runs over me
Together, forever

So loving You are,
So full of desire,
to know me fully,
and once having known,
brought me back home

Your ways are perfect

Twirling in sunshine,
Dancing on grass,
Hair is flying,
I'm starting to gasp

You're wonderful, don't you know?
And how I love you SO!

So I'm dancing,
happiness complete
content in the knowledge that You can't be beat

My heart is full,
So full of Your beauty - when I'm dancing.

Dwell (January 29th, 2011)

This morning at six o'clock
My body still wanting more sleep
You woke me with a thought
"Dwell, come be in Me
let's walk together and see
How wonderful life can be."

I thought for a moment
how I love to dance
in moments of joy

But dwelling is so much more than that
It's being there through the lows
Trusting in Him and His saving grace
Knowing that He's preparing
a better place

So taking His hand,
I face the world not alone,
Dwelling is knowing, trusting, receiving
the peace that comes when you dwell.

In His presence, in who He is
Sovereign Creator, Lord of all things
Lover of Souls, my King to save
Breather of Life, my Brother and Friend
and Saviour of my Soul

Dwelling is knowing He's there beside you
Trusting Him to guide you
Knowing that He KNOWS
And that's why I dwell,
in the presence of the LORD.