Top o' the morning/afternoon/evening to you, Mr. R.! Glad to see that you've made it this far... (ooo... that rhymed).
To get to my portfolio, please click on the "Literacy Portfolio" page link up above, but before you go, there are some things that you should know (the rhyming is an epidemic!). Except for the items that are included, the rest of the items are through links on the web. Whenever a title is in a slightly different color, you can click on it to get to the link.
To make sure that this is apparent, I will also write the word "link" in the explanation of what you will find. Although I will mention what my item is inside of my rationale, I will also put a small parentheses statement before the rationale to let you know what the item is and how it is represented.
I think that's all... Enjoy some chocolate-chip brownies as you peruse!
~Christy
Thursday, October 27
Sunday, October 16
Quizzing and Surrender
It hurts...
It really does...
This weekend was the Quizzing Tournament that was held in T-Town. I anticipated much and was not disappointed.
Friday night was both the worst of times and the best of times. I started out the night with a self-glorifying attitude and it wasn't long until I fell flat on my face. I wanted to jump fast, get the answers correct and do it so that everyone could see how good I was.
But I didn't... and I wasn't.
That night though, we lead worship with a team that had first practiced only a few hours before. New people, new cohesiveness... things weren't looking pretty. But when we stood up there, it came together. Not perfectly, not seamlessly. Stitches were hanging out here and there. But when you're leading a group of kids and adults who have devoted their weekend to reciting His Word, it doesn't matter how good or bad the musicians are. You still praise.
So with a cleaner heart, I lifted hands toward heaven and just sang. I let it go and something happened.
You know those times when everything's going good and then it just gets better? Like there was a film and now it's evaporated and everything seems clearer and brighter and just plain better?
Yeah.
Then they all had fun getting to figure out what Quizzing was like. It made my day to see my friends and classmates taking an interest in what consumes a few weekends of my year and hours throughout the week. To see them jump with anticipation and answer silly questions. To laugh and to know that I am loved.
Saturday morning was even better. Things had started coming back and my new perspective was really helping things. I found myself giving more to others, encouraging and lifting up instead of figuring out how I could answer more questions correctly.
And it lead us to the Finals. Consolations, yes, but Finals no doubt. I was SO happy...
And then winning!
And then getting a prize for being 3rd top quizzer in Consolation. It's never happened before in all my five years of quizzing. EEEEKKK!!
Then to go home and to see that life is still the same... it's just me that's changed... although temporarily. Sooner or later, I will find myself falling and then clearing away the mist before my eyes to see what truly matters.
Because surrender can never really be complete here on this earth. Just as the trees are shedding their leaves in anticipation for winter, so I shed myself that I may become more like Him. And even as I am dying, He gives me life that may take time to blossom, as do the buds on the trees. And it's a cycle... like everything else. Yet, each time I will recognize my sin more readily, find it just as hard to give up and then breathe even deeper when I do.
It reminds me of Eustace and Aslan in the Dawn Treader of the Narnia Chronicles. Eustace is trying desperately to tear his dragon skin off, but each layer that comes off shows another fresh one underneath. Finally, Aslan steps to his side and says, "Only I can take it off."
From there, he proceeds to gouge his claws in deep and begin the agonizingly painful business of pulling the skin off from the inside.
And I can't do it. Nope. Not a chance...
But He can... if only I surrender.
Thursday, October 13
Day by Day
I found myself in a desert, flailing around to find any source of water or any sign of an oasis. But the horizons were bare and my tongue was parched, and He was not near.
I turned to my Bible, knowing, as always that it is not Him that is not near, it is me. So often, I have to remind myself that "I am as close to God as I choose to be" as the sign on the back of my door persistently proclaims. It's not in the least surprising that when I turned to my place in the Word, He was there.
He was there with food and sustenance and life.
Psalm 37 filled me with hope because I have always been a check-listy girl and this psalm fulfilled that need in a very real way:
1 Don’t worry about the wicked
or envy those who do wrong.
2 For like grass, they soon fade away.
Like spring flowers, they soon wither.
3 Trust in the Lord and do good.
Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
4 Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you your heart’s desires.
5 Commit everything you do to the Lord.
Trust him, and he will help you.
6 He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn,
and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.
7 Be still in the presence of the Lord,
and wait patiently for him to act.
Don’t worry about evil people who prosper
or fret about their wicked schemes.
8 Stop being angry!
Turn from your rage!
Do not lose your temper—
it only leads to harm.
9 For the wicked will be destroyed,
but those who trust in the Lord will possess the land.
10 Soon the wicked will disappear.
Though you look for them, they will be gone.
11 The lowly will possess the land
and will live in peace and prosperity.
12 The wicked plot against the godly;
they snarl at them in defiance.
13 But the Lord just laughs,
for he sees their day of judgment coming.
14 The wicked draw their swords
and string their bows
to kill the poor and the oppressed,
to slaughter those who do right.
15 But their swords will stab their own hearts,
and their bows will be broken.
16 It is better to be godly and have little
than to be evil and rich.
17 For the strength of the wicked will be shattered,
but the Lord takes care of the godly.
18 Day by day the Lord takes care of the innocent,
and they will receive an inheritance that lasts forever.
19 They will not be disgraced in hard times;
even in famine they will have more than enough.
20 But the wicked will die.
The Lord’s enemies are like flowers in a field—
they will disappear like smoke.
21 The wicked borrow and never repay,
but the godly are generous givers.
22 Those the Lord blesses will possess the land,
but those he curses will die.
23 The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
24 Though they stumble, they will never fall,
for the Lord holds them by the hand.
25 Once I was young, and now I am old.
Yet I have never seen the godly abandoned
or their children begging for bread.
26 The godly always give generous loans to others,
and their children are a blessing.
27 Turn from evil and do good,
and you will live in the land forever.
28 For the Lord loves justice,
and he will never abandon the godly.
He will keep them safe forever,
but the children of the wicked will die.
29 The godly will possess the land
and will live there forever.
30 The godly offer good counsel; they teach right from wrong.
31 They have made God’s law their own,
so they will never slip from his path.
32 The wicked wait in ambush for the godly,
looking for an excuse to kill them.
33 But the Lord will not let the wicked succeed
or let the godly be condemned when they are put on trial.
34 Put your hope in the Lord.
Travel steadily along his path.
He will honor you by giving you the land.
You will see the wicked destroyed.
35 I have seen wicked and ruthless people
flourishing like a tree in its native soil.
36 But when I looked again, they were gone!
Though I searched for them, I could not find them!
37 Look at those who are honest and good,
for a wonderful future awaits those who love peace.
38 But the rebellious will be destroyed;
they have no future.
39 The Lord rescues the godly;
he is their fortress in times of trouble.
40 The Lord helps them,
rescuing them from the wicked.
He saves them,
and they find shelter in him.
*Psalm 37 (NLT) {underlining and bold facing mine}
There's so much in there that gave a spring to my step. And yes, it does look like I only underlined the "good" promises that He is giving in the psalm and I do realize that there are consequences as well as gifts, but what I needed that day was hope. And He gave fully.
Some thoughts:
He's so good at surprising me... did you see that be still in there? Here I was, frantically searching for water when all I had to do was be still and accept what He was waiting to give me. So often, I am so blind.
I find it so wonderful that the Lord laughs. The Lord... the God of creation... Majesty... Glory... Yaweh... Father... Son... Holy Spirit... they laugh! And yes, this is alluding to knowing the evil's future and laughing at how cocky they seem now, but just think about it. Our God is a jovial God... he loves to laugh!
He only gives me strength day by day. More than that, and I would be cocky. I already am... He knew that and so He only provides for today. I whine, I snivel, I complain... but it's for my good. It's so encouraging to think that every day He is waiting to give me the sustenance I need for just one more day.
I often wonder about the seeming incongruity between God the Father and God the Son. How one is Creator and Sustainer, and the other is a close Friend. And yet, He delights in every detail of my life. He enjoys it when I have cute shoes on. When I feel happy about autumn leaves. When I sing my heart out. When I am alive in the purpose that He has given me, in the place that He placed me, among those He has given me.
I am such a little child. I am still learning to walk. I want to be on my own, independent, without any help. But if you see a small baby toddling down the hall, who's right behind them? The parent, obviously. And here's where the analogy breaks down, because I don't think that He ever does stop holding our hands. We never grow out of needing help.
Let me encourage you to "be still in the presence of the Lord and wait patiently for Him to act." Who knows what could happen?
I turned to my Bible, knowing, as always that it is not Him that is not near, it is me. So often, I have to remind myself that "I am as close to God as I choose to be" as the sign on the back of my door persistently proclaims. It's not in the least surprising that when I turned to my place in the Word, He was there.
He was there with food and sustenance and life.
Psalm 37 filled me with hope because I have always been a check-listy girl and this psalm fulfilled that need in a very real way:
1 Don’t worry about the wicked
or envy those who do wrong.
2 For like grass, they soon fade away.
Like spring flowers, they soon wither.
3 Trust in the Lord and do good.
Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
4 Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you your heart’s desires.
5 Commit everything you do to the Lord.
Trust him, and he will help you.
6 He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn,
and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.
7 Be still in the presence of the Lord,
and wait patiently for him to act.
Don’t worry about evil people who prosper
or fret about their wicked schemes.
8 Stop being angry!
Turn from your rage!
Do not lose your temper—
it only leads to harm.
9 For the wicked will be destroyed,
but those who trust in the Lord will possess the land.
10 Soon the wicked will disappear.
Though you look for them, they will be gone.
11 The lowly will possess the land
and will live in peace and prosperity.
12 The wicked plot against the godly;
they snarl at them in defiance.
13 But the Lord just laughs,
for he sees their day of judgment coming.
14 The wicked draw their swords
and string their bows
to kill the poor and the oppressed,
to slaughter those who do right.
15 But their swords will stab their own hearts,
and their bows will be broken.
16 It is better to be godly and have little
than to be evil and rich.
17 For the strength of the wicked will be shattered,
but the Lord takes care of the godly.
18 Day by day the Lord takes care of the innocent,
and they will receive an inheritance that lasts forever.
19 They will not be disgraced in hard times;
even in famine they will have more than enough.
20 But the wicked will die.
The Lord’s enemies are like flowers in a field—
they will disappear like smoke.
21 The wicked borrow and never repay,
but the godly are generous givers.
22 Those the Lord blesses will possess the land,
but those he curses will die.
23 The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
24 Though they stumble, they will never fall,
for the Lord holds them by the hand.
25 Once I was young, and now I am old.
Yet I have never seen the godly abandoned
or their children begging for bread.
26 The godly always give generous loans to others,
and their children are a blessing.
27 Turn from evil and do good,
and you will live in the land forever.
28 For the Lord loves justice,
and he will never abandon the godly.
He will keep them safe forever,
but the children of the wicked will die.
29 The godly will possess the land
and will live there forever.
30 The godly offer good counsel; they teach right from wrong.
31 They have made God’s law their own,
so they will never slip from his path.
32 The wicked wait in ambush for the godly,
looking for an excuse to kill them.
33 But the Lord will not let the wicked succeed
or let the godly be condemned when they are put on trial.
34 Put your hope in the Lord.
Travel steadily along his path.
He will honor you by giving you the land.
You will see the wicked destroyed.
35 I have seen wicked and ruthless people
flourishing like a tree in its native soil.
36 But when I looked again, they were gone!
Though I searched for them, I could not find them!
37 Look at those who are honest and good,
for a wonderful future awaits those who love peace.
38 But the rebellious will be destroyed;
they have no future.
39 The Lord rescues the godly;
he is their fortress in times of trouble.
40 The Lord helps them,
rescuing them from the wicked.
He saves them,
and they find shelter in him.
*Psalm 37 (NLT) {underlining and bold facing mine}
There's so much in there that gave a spring to my step. And yes, it does look like I only underlined the "good" promises that He is giving in the psalm and I do realize that there are consequences as well as gifts, but what I needed that day was hope. And He gave fully.
Some thoughts:
He's so good at surprising me... did you see that be still in there? Here I was, frantically searching for water when all I had to do was be still and accept what He was waiting to give me. So often, I am so blind.
I find it so wonderful that the Lord laughs. The Lord... the God of creation... Majesty... Glory... Yaweh... Father... Son... Holy Spirit... they laugh! And yes, this is alluding to knowing the evil's future and laughing at how cocky they seem now, but just think about it. Our God is a jovial God... he loves to laugh!
He only gives me strength day by day. More than that, and I would be cocky. I already am... He knew that and so He only provides for today. I whine, I snivel, I complain... but it's for my good. It's so encouraging to think that every day He is waiting to give me the sustenance I need for just one more day.
I often wonder about the seeming incongruity between God the Father and God the Son. How one is Creator and Sustainer, and the other is a close Friend. And yet, He delights in every detail of my life. He enjoys it when I have cute shoes on. When I feel happy about autumn leaves. When I sing my heart out. When I am alive in the purpose that He has given me, in the place that He placed me, among those He has given me.
I am such a little child. I am still learning to walk. I want to be on my own, independent, without any help. But if you see a small baby toddling down the hall, who's right behind them? The parent, obviously. And here's where the analogy breaks down, because I don't think that He ever does stop holding our hands. We never grow out of needing help.
Let me encourage you to "be still in the presence of the Lord and wait patiently for Him to act." Who knows what could happen?
Monday, October 10
One Month
It's month since I've met you, beautiful girl. You have a smile that could light up a ballroom and eyes that twinkle with mischief. You have an unbreakable spirit, but you get easily down. You love to have fun and joke around.
I'm so glad that I took that *leap* not so long ago. It's been a wonderful adventure and as the leaves turn crisp and shrivel up, I look forward to it continuing. You're not always easy to be around, you must realize. You throw fits, mess up my schedule and don't always make the best first impression. But I'm on your side.
Sometimes, when you have a one-track mind, I catch myself looking around and wondering Who's watching? Then I look back at you as you dip your head forward and look at the floor. I respond by turning my head upside down to meet your eyes, and you smile. And that smile is what it's all for.
Some may not understand you, but that's alright. I've been so privileged to know you beyond your actions. I'm so glad that I look forward to being with you, that it doesn't seem like a job at all.
I love that you love my family. From the very first, you hugged my mother and that meant a lot to me. It also means a lot, Mom, that you let her in that very first day with no if, ands or buts.
You are capable of so much more and I want to see you grow. I want to push you to where you feel uncomfortable. Never hide behind the title "disabilities," because it's not who you are. You're smile is not disabled and your laughter is most definitely not.
Some may see you as you walk down the street, thinking Wow, what's wrong with her? She's drooling and doesn't walk straight. She'll never be worth anything. Nothing could be less true.
When I see you walking down the street, do you know what I see? I see a heart that is so full of life and laughter. You give so much to your mother and father, I know that you are the apple of their eyes. You give so much to me in allowing me to find my gifts and work along with you to bring you to fuller independence.
You know what? I think God's using you in a mighty and powerful way in my life. Yup! You teach me about patience, *promises* and unconditional love. He is using you mightily as a "grace grower" in my life.
Who am I that I should be ashamed of God's creation? Sure, you don't always act the way I want you to, and I find myself explaining you and your actions more than I want to, but you are so worth it!
I would cover you in stamps and "kisses" if I could!
Your Rose
I'm so glad that I took that *leap* not so long ago. It's been a wonderful adventure and as the leaves turn crisp and shrivel up, I look forward to it continuing. You're not always easy to be around, you must realize. You throw fits, mess up my schedule and don't always make the best first impression. But I'm on your side.
Sometimes, when you have a one-track mind, I catch myself looking around and wondering Who's watching? Then I look back at you as you dip your head forward and look at the floor. I respond by turning my head upside down to meet your eyes, and you smile. And that smile is what it's all for.
Some may not understand you, but that's alright. I've been so privileged to know you beyond your actions. I'm so glad that I look forward to being with you, that it doesn't seem like a job at all.
I love that you love my family. From the very first, you hugged my mother and that meant a lot to me. It also means a lot, Mom, that you let her in that very first day with no if, ands or buts.
You are capable of so much more and I want to see you grow. I want to push you to where you feel uncomfortable. Never hide behind the title "disabilities," because it's not who you are. You're smile is not disabled and your laughter is most definitely not.
Some may see you as you walk down the street, thinking Wow, what's wrong with her? She's drooling and doesn't walk straight. She'll never be worth anything. Nothing could be less true.
When I see you walking down the street, do you know what I see? I see a heart that is so full of life and laughter. You give so much to your mother and father, I know that you are the apple of their eyes. You give so much to me in allowing me to find my gifts and work along with you to bring you to fuller independence.
You know what? I think God's using you in a mighty and powerful way in my life. Yup! You teach me about patience, *promises* and unconditional love. He is using you mightily as a "grace grower" in my life.
Who am I that I should be ashamed of God's creation? Sure, you don't always act the way I want you to, and I find myself explaining you and your actions more than I want to, but you are so worth it!
I would cover you in stamps and "kisses" if I could!
Your Rose
Thursday, October 6
Safe
I sat there... thinking so many different thoughts. Curled up and held. A ball of warmth surrounded by arms that are strong and able. I fit so well.
He rubbed my back, saying nothing. It's what I love most, actually. The silent communication that we have. That he understands me... my need for silence and safety.
He was gone for a few weeks. And I didn't really miss him, sad to say. It was only when he came back that I realized how much of who I am, past, present, and future is wrapped up inside of him being around.
He's my strong and silent warrior.
We are so much alike. In face and feature, but also in personality and quirks. I'm most unashamedly my father's daughter and very much a daddy's girl.
We had just been scrolling through pictures of Cameroon... people that I knew, people that I had once loved. Still love. But from very far away.
Curled up... thinking. Thinking about how when he was young, he also was torn away from a country that he loved very much... a scenario very much like mine. The only difference: he never got to go back.
And I will.
I felt like crying but didn't want to. It's one the very rare moments in my life when that has happened.
But now I cry.
I have such a deep respect for you, Daddy. One that goes beyond the mere amazing way that you provide for your family in every situation, unprecedented or not. One that has everything to do with how real you are with me and with everyone around you.
The morning you got home, I went into the bathroom, opened up the closet and was never so incredibly happy to see shaving cream in my life.
When you came in and hugged me, I was so full of joy, and a piece of satisfaction that had been jarred by your leaving was somehow put back into place.
Mornings with you are my favourite parts of the day. To see you sitting in your chair... that chair... praying, makes me know that all is right in the world. That my father is in charge, that He is in charge of you and nothing can go wrong.
You care. You love. And you speak my love language. I have never doubted that you love me from the very deepest core of yourself. You show it in everything that you do.
You take time. You ask questions. You honestly care about my day.
You answer questions, go into detail, keep a conversation going, know my thoughts sometimes before I speak them.
I say it every year, I know, but I say it here as well. I am so very, very, VERY thankful that I have a father that allows me to see a glimpse of my true Father. So many girls (nay, children) are deprived of that.
I love you!
From your Christi-Belle
P.S. No, Mom, I didn't forget about you! ;)
He rubbed my back, saying nothing. It's what I love most, actually. The silent communication that we have. That he understands me... my need for silence and safety.
He was gone for a few weeks. And I didn't really miss him, sad to say. It was only when he came back that I realized how much of who I am, past, present, and future is wrapped up inside of him being around.
He's my strong and silent warrior.
We are so much alike. In face and feature, but also in personality and quirks. I'm most unashamedly my father's daughter and very much a daddy's girl.
We had just been scrolling through pictures of Cameroon... people that I knew, people that I had once loved. Still love. But from very far away.
Curled up... thinking. Thinking about how when he was young, he also was torn away from a country that he loved very much... a scenario very much like mine. The only difference: he never got to go back.
And I will.
I felt like crying but didn't want to. It's one the very rare moments in my life when that has happened.
But now I cry.
I have such a deep respect for you, Daddy. One that goes beyond the mere amazing way that you provide for your family in every situation, unprecedented or not. One that has everything to do with how real you are with me and with everyone around you.
The morning you got home, I went into the bathroom, opened up the closet and was never so incredibly happy to see shaving cream in my life.
When you came in and hugged me, I was so full of joy, and a piece of satisfaction that had been jarred by your leaving was somehow put back into place.
Mornings with you are my favourite parts of the day. To see you sitting in your chair... that chair... praying, makes me know that all is right in the world. That my father is in charge, that He is in charge of you and nothing can go wrong.
You care. You love. And you speak my love language. I have never doubted that you love me from the very deepest core of yourself. You show it in everything that you do.
You take time. You ask questions. You honestly care about my day.
You answer questions, go into detail, keep a conversation going, know my thoughts sometimes before I speak them.
I say it every year, I know, but I say it here as well. I am so very, very, VERY thankful that I have a father that allows me to see a glimpse of my true Father. So many girls (nay, children) are deprived of that.
I love you!
From your Christi-Belle
P.S. No, Mom, I didn't forget about you! ;)
Wednesday, October 5
Mountains
What do mountains make you think of? Some think of desolation, despair, loneliness, and being trapped. To others, it brings happiness, joy, and freedom. So what's the difference? What makes people see them that way?
I haven't grown up around mountains, and yet they don't represent, in particular, any of the two areas up above. They represent hope, in one aspect, and yet climbing and difficulty in the other. When one talks about one's spiritual life, it's common to say that "I'm in a desert right now", or "that was a mountain top experience!" And the former is what I think of when I see a mountain... like the one below.
I haven't grown up around mountains, and yet they don't represent, in particular, any of the two areas up above. They represent hope, in one aspect, and yet climbing and difficulty in the other. When one talks about one's spiritual life, it's common to say that "I'm in a desert right now", or "that was a mountain top experience!" And the former is what I think of when I see a mountain... like the one below.
(Yes, taken while in Jasper.)
They're filled with the pristine, white, snowy beauty that makes them so breathtaking. And yet so very obvious are the jagged rocks and deep gullies that pit their sides.
All the above leads to this: I have my slumps.. but I have my mountains, too. So often... in fact, too often... in fact, almost always... really?... always... I praise in one, but not the other. Any guesses? Yeah. When I'm up on the top, surrounded by an elixir of joy and happiness and praise, the world seems right and perfect. When I'm down at ground level... everything seems uphill. One thing the weekend in Jasper taught me was that He is the Lord of my Mountains, no matter what kind they are. Whether they are physical or emotional barriers that I need to overcome, or if they are spiritual "highs" that make memories and bring truth to reality. I'm thankful that I don't have to wonder if this plain will stretch on forever... because He's the Lord... the Lord of my Mountains.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)