Newness

It seems strange that this day, as every other, has a morning, an evening, a night. It has snow on the ground, wind whistling through bare branches, and the sound of vehicles and people travelling. 

It's not that extraordinary.

But it is.

It's a new beginning... or as I saw someone put it: "New Year's Day is every man's birthday."

It's a chance to start over again, to go back to scratch, to breathe and try again. 

Yet, it's only a man-made holiday, and it reminds me of how everyday in the year is a Christian's New Year's Day:

"But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:21-23 (ESV)

Another thing it reminds me of is the beginnings of this blog, when I plunged into a different way of expressing myself that has morphed into something so satisfactorily freeing. 

I don't know what is coming up this year. Oh, I know what's scheduled to happen, but that's not most likely what I'll remember when this time come next year. Rather, it's the lessons, the experiences, the memories, and the friends that remain lodged in my mind even when the calendar is replaced. 

I don't know what He's wanting to teach me this year, but I do know that it will draw me closer to Him in ways that I don't anticipate this year. 

He's taught me so much about being still... 

- to "be still in the presence of the LORD, and wait patiently for him to act"

- to rest in hope when things don't look so good

- to be blessed when He shows reward for waiting

 

and so much more...

There might be a new word/phrase that He will give to me in these next few days, but He may just as well have more to teach me about being still. 

We'll just have to wait and see... 

A Whole New World

I remember that night... wondering why I had ever gotten myself into such a fix. Entering the door, writing information down, singing and then dancing.

And then it was over.

Until I saw the list on line. And I can't describe the mile-wide smile that split my face. My parents can tell you how I danced down the hallway.

I grew up without a lot of opportunities. And for so long... I have let that define me.

I never thought that I would have a flair for performing. But that thought has grown into a boundary that I haven't let myself cross... until now.

Now there's this.

A whole new world... and I sure don't know what I'm digging myself into. But maybe I don't want to...

Then, meeting there together tonight, watching the videos that made me glad that I had tried out, talking to friends who I'll get to know even better through all of this.

And thinking... maybe, just maybe... I am also one of those artsy-fartsy people.

Pleasure

I opened up the book yesterday, and turned to my chapter. The title hit me hard - Planned for God's Pleasure. I struggle with this... a lot, in both simple and complex ways. Simple, because I find it hard to take my eyes off of me and what I want to do, and complex, because... I can't understand that kind of love.

To think that He smiled at my birth.. that He made me the way I am because He simply wanted to. It blows my mind! Too often I see myself as normal... which, in and of itself, isn't that bad. I shouldn't think too highly of myself, and yet to give myself the proper place to which He has assigned me... as His personal pleasure... is a huge balance beam. But, here again, comes in the fact that it's not about me, but Him.

If I simply live my life, working to please Him, in every way I can. To offer my life as a worship of who and what He is. That is my goal... my ultimate aim.

Leaving my devotions, I felt refreshed and new. I felt like I had discovered an oasis. That same day, the lessons I had learned earlier that morning came into play. We were strolling through Ikea.. through that endless serpentine maze of bedrooms, kitchens, dining rooms, bathrooms, and everything else that could make you drool, when I realized that I was doing just that. Drooling... The pleasure that the world offers, the shiny new things, the attention they bring, the space that the craving for new things creates...all leave me empty. It's as if this world is a desert, and these mirages are luring me from the real thing.. the real oasis.

I wonder what the balance is. The difference between having new things and pleasing Him. But for right now, I strive to give Him pleasure, while not falling for the world's.