Captivating

{I find that blogging is often something I postpone doing simply for lack of time to craft words in the way that I want them to be crafted... but really? That's pride. So here's to more regular posts about random things!}

I was given a sheet of paper at the beginning of the school year with quotes from John and Stasi Eldredge's book Captivating on it. A week or so ago, I took the time to read through and meditate on the concepts that it brought forth in relation to my life.

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, ti should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." ~1 Peter 3:3-4

This has always been one of those verses that bites. every. single. time. I feel as if this is a concept that I will continually struggle with throughout my life, because let's face it, I like to dress up. I like to wear nice clothing and attractive outfits, but when I look deeper, I see that the heart of the issue is that I like attention. And that, my friends, is pride. As is written so many places in Scripture, we are never to boast in self, but only in Christ.

The more 'His' we become, the more ourselves we become, more our true selves. Peter doesn't say that beautiful women rarely speak above a whisper, if they speak at all. No. To have a gentle and quiet spirit is to have a heart of faith, a heart that trusts God, a spirit that has been quieted by His love and filled with His peace. Not a hear that is striving and restless.

Have you ever had that gnawing feeling, that although you shouldn't think it, sometimes you wonder if you're losing out by doing things His way? And that's the thought that's been indoctrinated into us through advertising and the sinful world. We think that somehow, through being taught how to truly live life by the Giver of life, we'll somehow miss out on life. Crazy.

And that pride? See, the whole fact that I want attention is where I need to target the problem. I need to be content in His love and I love the phrase "a spirit that has been quieted by His love." I am called to no longer strive to find purpose or placement or peace, but to look only to Him, to know that I am loved and lovely.

A woman in her glory, a woman of beauty, is a woman who is not striving to become beautiful or worthy or enough. She knows in her quiet center where God dwells that He finds where beautiful, has deemed her worthy, and in Him, she is enough. In fact, the only thing getting in the way of our being fully captivating and enjoyed is our hiding and striving.

I am enough. I need to stop striving.

"He will quiet you with His love" Zeph 3:17. A woman of true beauty is a woman who in the depths of her soul is at rest; trusting God because she has come to know Him to be worthy of her trust. She exudes a sense of calm; a sense of rest; and invites those around her to rest as well. She speaks comfort; that all is well; that all will be well. A woman of true beauty offers others the grace to be and the room to become. In her presence, one can release the tight sigh that so often grips our hearts, and breathe in the truth that God loves us and He is good.

I long so much to be that quiet presence. To speak with wisdom and to be at that center of rest. It's all about being content in His love. No longer striving. No longer wondering. No longer running after other's approval.

You see, ultimately, a woman invites us to know God. To experience through her that God is merciful. That He is tender and kind. That God longs for us -- to be known by us and to know us. She invites us to experience that God is good, deep, lovely, alluring, captivating.

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and worry. Worry about how I appear to others, worry about what others think of me... worry about who I am. But that very worry undermines the goodness of the God who crafted me.

And I long to be captivating and to be captivated by that love that shaped me, that love that quiets me, that love that tells me that I no longer need to strive, that I am enough.