Expectation

As I leave in the slightly early morning hours of this beautiful Sunday, many emotions trample through my heart. Heading off to camp is an exciting prospect and one I look forward to with joy. But this year, I'm not only a camper...I'm a counselor. If only a Jr. the slight nervousness I feel is not all that unexpected. That God could be directing specific kids to me during the next two weeks and that I could have an impact if I try (whether bad or good) is scary.

Yet He is full of grace and He will guide. It's the resting in that promise that's the hard part. As I leave I want to make sure that my arsenal is full, that I'll know answers, and that I will put myself out there. But it's hard to break old habits. I want to hide behind the high, thick walls of my comfort zone and to stay warm and content back there. But He calls me to more. The life He has called me to means that I should never stay in my comfort zone, and that when I sense it coming, I need to take another big giant step out into the wild unknown.

So, it's with trepidation, fear, trembling.. and yet with a very high, joyful sense of expectation that I embark on this journey. I may not know all the answers, but that will draw some very near. I may not always say what He wants me to, or take the initiative. But it's almost impossible for me to have zero impact... so I go, trusting that resting in His promises will pull me through.