Wrestling

I pulled it out of my pocket just now, a reminder of you. That small, neatly wrapped piece of chocolate that we fought over last night.

It was lying next to my plate, ready for consumption, and then your hand sneaked over to grab it.

You... with brown hair all mussed up, sparkling blue-grey eyes, a mind that's constantly whirring, and a voracious love for books, Lego, and chess. You... my little brother... my only brother... my Buddy.

You had that smile on your face. You knew that I would react. And react I did. I pounced on you, we wrestled on the floor, scrabbling for a hold on each other.

After a few minutes, it was still going on. And it wasn't about the candy anymore.

No... it was about you. You... the one that is growing, that is already up to my nose, who is only 10 years old and is destined to be a giant when older. You.. the one that I won't be able to pin to the ground much longer.

It was because of you that I wrestled. I don't have much time left with you. To see your smile, your mischieveous glances, that face so full of dramatic effect that's bound to elicit a fond smile. I'm gone next year. If not gone from the house, gone from the familiar routine. It won't ever be this way again.

And I'm beginning to be okay with that. But I want to treasure every moment. That's why the chocolate, just pulled out of my pocket, sits on my desk... and reminds me of you.

You... who wakes up early in the morning to spend time reading books way beyond your grade level. You... who fight and battle with those 7,8, and 9 times tables. You... of the lashing temper, the words that sting, and the voluntary hugs every morning that make up for everything.

You.. with the heart that is already seeking Him. You... who are destined to become an engineer or something else of great magnitude as exhibited by your skill with Lego. You... with your electronically controlled helicoptors, your love for soccer, your passion for life.

You... whom I held in my arms for the first time, what seems not that long ago.

I hope you realize how much I love you. And how that love leaves me wrestling with how to show you in how I respond when you are angry, when you are bright, when you are sad, when you are you. 

I love you.