Central

It’s so easy to get lost.

To get surrounded and tumbled around by the everyday petty things that cause me to worry and stress about what comes next. To take my eyes off of the One who controls the sea and instead to look at the depths that lie beneath me and to feel myself sinking, with my eyes on myself instead of on Him.

I scrabble around, looking for something to hold onto and come up empty-handed.

And I come to the disheartening conclusion that there will always be someone better at something than I am, and I will always miss out on something.

But I will gain something either way, and they spoke at church this week of rest.

Of resting in confidence of God’s sufficiency, knowing that the victory is already won.

It’s not an inactive rest, rather one that acts in the confidence that God will work. I am called to follow Him, knowing that He will provide and that I have nothing to worry about.

But so often, I make my future and my talents about my own desires instead of about His desires.

I get caught up in my life and when I come before Him, I spend my time focusing on myself and all that’s going wrong, instead of all that He’s blessed me with.

I forget to come with expectation and with eagerness to sit at His feet.

I come, wanting rest through immediate answers or a sense of peace instead of simply letting all things go and learning more of who He is and knowing that He is worthy of trust.

I forget to seek His kingdom first, although when I do so, all my needs will be supplied.

Not that I am to spend time *not* thinking about other things, but rather that every moment would have a focus on Him. 

Finals come up and it's easy to give way to rote memorization instead of heart internalization, Christmas comes and it can be turned into a family-centered holiday instead of a Christ centered one, and my identity and heart can be centered on others' expectations and thoughts instead of on the One who crafted each part.

So it's a conscious choice, and not always an easy one. It's hard to tear close of the headway that the world makes into my soul, but when I do, I find rest. 

Rest, through making Him the center of my every day, hour, moment, action, thought, word, and motive.