My Rest

I struggle so hard with this concept.

Rest.

What is it?

It eludes me, slipping out of my grasp and I think of new ways to make my life simpler and then worry that I'm procrastinating at getting something done although there's nothing to do. I strive to rest.

And that's just it - I'm striving.

Only a few weeks ago at church, in Sunday School, we were discussing this concept of rest as a part of Charles Price's book Connect with God's Heart: Hebrews.

And it's penned in along the side of Hebrews chapter 4 in my Bible: rest = our position in Christ, not our circumstances

It's so hard. Maybe because I know that I can so easily hide myself away in the shell of myself, being a recluse in my room and reading books or being on-line and so I've tried to figure out a way to be involved with the family but keep finding myself retreating for rest.

I feel guilty when I rest. Honestly. I don't know what rest looks like for me, because I feel like such an anti-social introvert. What is the line between resting the way that my mind rests versus using it as an excuse and pushing away the opportunities that He has placed before me during this time when family is so near?

And I strive. I worry. I wrestle.

And I don't stop to hear. Don't stop to be still and to hear, "Rest, My child. Rest in all that I AM." Because penned beside chapter 4 just a little further up the page are the words "picture of sufficiency."

When I strive and worry, what am I really doing? I'm doubting all that He is. I'm doubting that He is everything that I need.

So often I do not simply strive in my day to day living, but in my spiritual life. I strive and try to conjure up peace in my heart or to stamp down boredom in routine in devotions or to try and put my mind in the right condition, or even to strive to be perfectly honest before Him.

And you know what? If I'm still, He calls, "Rest, My child. Rest in all that I AM."

He came as the Prince of Peace. He came to bring that rest between God and mankind, and He came to bring rest in humanity's frantic scrabbling for safety and assured footing.

Sometimes I'm so busy worrying that I don't rest in all that He's given me and all that He is.

And He speaks through the words of a friend who tells me to turn to His Words. Why is what I so desperately need what I so often seek last? You'd think that I'd learn... and she points me to Isaiah 58:11.

The LORD will guide you continually, giving  you water when  you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring. (NLT)

It brings to mind two of my favourite verses in Isaiah:

This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: "Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength." (30:15)

So the LORD must wait for you to come to him so that he can show you his love and compassion. For the LORD is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for his help. (30:18)

The secret is purposely being still. Resting in all that He is, and that rest in my soul will spill out into my life. He has never failed me, so why do I keep thinking that maybe this time will be different? Silly me.

He's waiting. He has so much to give me if only I will be still and come before Him waiting to receive whatever it is that He would teach me.

Striving for rest is so useless, and He calls me to rest.

To rest in all that He is.