In Her Eyes

To my Munchkin:

You sat there on the bed, head bent down, resting. Your normally rambunctious spirit is growing up into a joyful, somewhat more subdued one. And I settle myself on the floor and look up into your eyes.

And I see need.

And so I fulfill it. "God loves you SOO much. Did you know that? And Rose loves you SOO much too." Your smile begins to creep across your face and your eyes change.
"Your Mum and Dad also love you. Your sister too, your helpers at work, the people you talk to in the middle of the street."
"They love you because of your smile..." You grin. "Because of your joy, because of your hugs, and because of who you are."

"You're growing up into a beautiful young lady." You points to herself, and I nod. "Yes, you."

And it's your eyes that have me captivated. Those eyes that can be green or blue depending on when and how I see them. They can be mischievous, sorry, joyful, sad, happy, angry, pouting, or needful.

And they tell me of a longing that some may see as unnecessary given your "disabilities."

They tell me of the longing to be loved for who you are inside. For who you are honestly, when everything that stands in the way is stripped away and your personality stands quivering under examination.

And I have come to know you for who you really are. I still find if funny how we can walk down a street hand in hand, honest-to-goodness having a conversation without you saying a word.

Your hands, your communication to the outside world... they are beautiful. People stare and I just smile back. Having known you, I wouldn't trade any of the misunderstandings, embarrassments, or frustrations for any of the hugs, tears of joy, laughs, conversations, walks, and moments that we have had together.

How little I knew when I first walked into your home so many months ago.

And how much I still have to learn about you.

How often have you had someone tell you what a beautiful person you are inside and out?

I don't think you realize how much of a gift you are to me. How much you've taught me in the eight or so months that we've known each other.

And I hope that I can give a little bit of that gift back to you. Affirming instead of reprimanding you. Giving you tough love when you need it, but also giving you new challenges to overcome.

To encourage you to grow and to not hold you back in the little box of what you are now when your potential is huge.

It's such a privilege to get to know you. When I spend time with you, the outside world stops. Number one, because you never hold to anyone's schedule but your own, so I've given up trying. But, number two, because being with you teaches me again and again what is important in the world.

I hope that I never lose your friendship, your trust, or your laughter.

But most of all, I hope that I never lose being able to see your eyes.... and through them.

~ Your Rose