Redefining

Returning home has brought a lot of change. Change, neither good or bad, rather a morphing of previous views. There are so many things in my life that I have stuck into boxes, letting my life be defined by them, rather than allowing them to define my life. A few of these are definitions... Definitions such as family or home. And both of these definitions have changed.

I left Camp, surrounded by people I had come to know closely over the last five weeks. My own family came to see me and I felt a disconnect, because there were two different parts of me in one place. Two different families. And for so long, my immediate family has been my only family because of the uprooting that has happened multiple times in my life. They were the only ones that knew me well.

But I returned from a Camp full of people who I now call my family, to a town full of people that have also become my family. Part of working with my Monkey entails going to different businesses in town to get her hand stamped or other such things (at the grocery store, she gets a free cookie). Today when we went into the bakery section of the grocery store, I met up with one of my fellow graduates who is also going to same college as me. The ease with which we picked up conversation and made plans to get together and go out for coffee later on was amazing. Just to see the light in her eyes and to hear her ask how my summer went... it was amazing. Then, Monkey and I returned home from my home and after she was given her dinner, her mom and I sat down to chat. And we talked for about half an hour about how my summer had gone and what her summer had looked like. Monkey's house is like my second home, because I've had to prepare meals there, put her to bed, get her up in the morning, the whole bit. I know where everything is, and I know all the rules and in a way, her family has become my family. And I can't wait to go to church this upcoming Sunday because I know that I will experience family like nothing else there. They'll be glad to see me, they'll ask me how my summer went, they'll give me hugs, they'll care.

Also, this afternoon, I received these:

Held in the hands of a little boy wearing blue overalls. He explained that they were as a thanks for when I babysat him and his brother occasionally this past year, and that they were from his mom's garden. The gift of blue flowers. It's so simple... and yet it meant so much.

And this town as a whole has redefined another word. I don't know if I've ever really realized how truly blessed I am to call this place home. Not only do they welcome me in... they welcome my Monkey in, too. And as we pedal around town on that big red bike and the sun is shining and trees are whispering and the the grass grows green and people walk and greet and smile and say goodbye and move along... I am blessed to have this place as my home.

Then comes the time when I'm watching the Olympics and I'm cheering for the Canadian contender to win, and I stop. Since when did this country become my home? I remember when Canada was as foreign to me as Cameroon is as foreign to most of you. Where it felt like we were delving into the deep unknown (at least to me) and who knew what we were going to encounter? Cannibals? Not likely, they told me. Although, I found that the cold was just as formidable.

All joking aside, it's crazy amazing to look back and see all that God has brought me through, to this place. A place where I have multiple families and homes. A place where I feel like the future is bright, where I am finding out more and more who I am and what He has made me to be. A place where {dare I say it?} I am so thankful for the pain that has happened in the past to bring about today:

His blessings have been so good, so great, so beyond anything that I could've planned. And who I am is being daily broken, shaped, and put back together. Today, He showed me a glimpse of all that He's doing. He's been refining my heart all along the way... and redefining me.