Answers

With this year of Grade 12 looming in front of me, I've had to really bring a lot of things in front of His feet and sit and listen. I want to do well academically, although I don't want my competitive nature to be able to extinguish what I do have of a social life. I want to give myself time and yet fill it with fun and fulfilling things to do. Most of all, I don't want to look back at my Grade 12 year and wish that I had done things differently.

One of the biggest decisions that I had facing me was the decision of whether or not I should be involved in Bible Quizzing this year. For all of you who have never heard of it... learn about it! I first was involved in Grade six as a rookie and have now passed on to the senior divisions. And yet, it consumes a large amount of time. Time spent memorizing verses, going over questions, getting multiple answer chapter verse reference questions down pat (now, no one but quizzers can fully understand what that means) and going over key words. It fills up an evening a week, joining together as a team and practicing. There are weekend tournaments and review nights. You need to review verses, say them three weeks in a row. Oh, and not only that, but there are levels of memory. And me being me, I want to do and be the best at something that I try, not stay where it's easier, which means more time spent memorizing and reviewing.

But, at the end of this year of Bible Quizzing, at Nakamun, I was struggling with this issue. All around me, I could see people changed by simply memorizing 45 verses in a year. And yet, there were around 30 people in Alberta who memorized every single word in the book of John. Amazing! Being around those of a similar faith and of similar commitment to putting His words into their hearts does something to you. It makes you feel safe and accepted, as well as being able to prove yourself on grounds other than academics, looks or personality. There is a community...a family even.

During the summer, my fervor waned as I realized just how much I had stacked against me. I had filled my schedule with every single course possibility that I could take and now was thinking about the time commitment it would take to make it a fun (as opposed to stressful) year. Add to that other things, say a Bible Study, maybe a job, His Singers (I hope), Band practice hours, etc... I could just see my time wasting away and the first thing that I was eager to scrap was Bible Quizzing. Why? Because, honestly, I haven't been able to hold myself up to my standards of "if I'm doing this, I'm doing this so well that others will take notice of me".. in fact, I was doing normal... unnoticeably normal. Which, obviously, was my pride speaking.

Then, comes in this morning. I had prayed, going through the things that I needed wisdom for, trying to lay them at His feet, while at the same time keeping my pinky finger curled around the edge, ready to pull it back. Then, I went to my Bible. I had just finished my daily Bible reading plan a few days ago and was searching for a passage to read. Thinking about all the things that I had to make decisions about and soon, I turned to Proverbs, which, to my mind, was the place to go if I was looking for wisdom. Starting from the beginning, I started flipping through, and something caught my eye right away. It was the subtitle above Proverbs 3, which read Trusting in the Lord. Okay, I thought, I'll give this one a shot.

And then... oh, just then, I read verse 1:

"My child, never forget the things I have taught you. Store my commands in your heart."

Guess what hit me... really, really hard. Here I was, quibbling over what I would have time for, when really, what I should have worried about was where my priorities had gone. Was I really so far gone that I was considering cutting out what might be the thing through which He taught me the most important lessons that I need to learn, such as humility, grace, patience, mercy, and more? It made me shocked at what I had been thinking, and I immediately underlined this part of the verse.

Moving on to verse 2:

"If you do this, you will live many years, and your life will be satisfying."

What had I been looking for? For fun; for fulfillment. And what was He promising here? His satisfaction.. His peace.. what more do I need? I am so glad that He gives answers when I am still...