Hills

My shadowy feet move in circles. One.. two... one... two... I look up ahead of me, squinting as the sun hits my eyes. Halfway is behind me... I'm on my way home. The steady swish of bicycle tires against pavement sounds in my ears. The crickets start their song and the brown-eyed Susans nod to me from their roadside homes.

I look up ahead and groan as I see them. Four stair-cased hills, each one higher than the last. My leg muscles burn, my breath is not as deep as it was when I started out and now I face what seem to me to be mountains.

I bike over the smooth, straight road, dreading the hills up above. As I come closer, they loom even bigger and I start to pedal harder. Steadily, smoothly, watching the shadows underneath my bike tire move... keeping that white line at the side of my vision, like a living, moving, white snake that is racing along with me.

Keep your eyes on your feet,I say to myself, wondering how one hill can cause so much pain. I shift down a few gears and can't help glancing up. Ugh! I'm not even close! I bend my head down and concentrate on my feet, hoping that if I don't look, I can convince my legs that they're zooming across a level, flat plain of road with no hill in sight. It works for a little while, until I have to shift down another gear.

Looking up again, the top seems closer, and yet I steadily pedal on, just wanting it to be over... but also knowing that beyond this hill, there is another... and another...and another.

Somehow, I crest all four hills. The sign that signals 4.5 kilometers comes into sight, and there is flat road again. I try and maintain a steady pace while glancing at the watch that is timing my efforts, wanting to beat my time. There is only one hill before me, and I laugh inside of myself as I approach it, remembering how it used to daunt me.

I rise over the top and see the water tower ahead of me. Now, to most of you, our little town isn't much, but at those moments, it's like the Celestial City itself.

As I finished up my race with myself and calmed my breathing, and put away my bike, it struck me. While I was looking at my feet, the hills didn't seem so big... in fact, if I never looked up, I wouldn't have known how big they were. Isn't that the same with Him?

I see big hills ahead. It's Grade 12, everyone's asking the dreaded question, "So... what do you want to do after you graduate?" Smaller bumps are in between.. academics, a job, the Colombia trip.

Somewhere, from someone, sometime... I have no clue, I heard a new perspective on Psalm 119:105.

"Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path." (NIV)

It says that His Word is a lamp. What is a lamp? A small light. What does it show? Just my feet. JUST my feet. Nothing else. He doesn't illuminate the whole path. He doesn't highlight the hills. He shows me JUST enough for right now. JUST enough for the next step.


As I run this race... keeping it steady and strong, focusing on my feet is hard. Because I like to worry, honestly. I like to complain to Him about how big my hills are and how little others' look in comparison. His response is: "Look at your feet. I can take care of the hills. Look at your feet."


Someday, I'll crest into the Celestial City (the real one this time), and there will be no more hills. There will be no more race. I will slow down, I will stop, I will surrender my earthly "bike."


But for right now... I look at my feet.