Stars

"A girl without freckles is like a night without stars."

I spent the last two nights with a friend who lifts me up in every way, and she told me about this quote. One of those ways in which she lifts me up is about my appearance. I don't mind it, honestly. I have never struggled with my freckles, or with my face or figure. But I have not always felt satisfied with how I look. I feel average, and once in awhile I just want to turn heads. But why? Why do I want the approval of others when they're looking at the outside and not the inside?

Everyone of us, girls especially, I think, want to be known and told that we are beautiful. Now I don't think that I'm ugly. But I do think that I'm normal, adequate, just-enough. Not beautiful, gorgeous, cherished or lovely. Those words seem to belong to those who have their whole lives figured out. Thing about God is that He likes to change what I think... even when I like wallowing in my nice, muddy, comfortable hole of self pity.

He tells me that I am beautiful and I find that hard to comprehend. That He would find me so ravishing that He wants me forever. In fact, He created me to be desirable. And I don't understand that kind of love... crazy, tumultuous, overwhelming, peace-giving, pursuing love. Love for something that He made, even though I am imperfect. Love that makes up who He is.

I have always struggled with 1 Timothy 2:9-10

"And I want women to be modest in their appearance.They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do." (NLT)

I want to be attractive and lovely. I want compliments and to be lovingly pursued by a young man someday. But what He calls me to be is nothing of the sort. Oh, all that stuff comes along with it, but it's not the focus. The focus is on Him... not me. When I make my life about Him, then I am beautiful and lovely in every way. He has made my form lovely, but what really makes me attractive is when I live for Him.

May I shine like the moon at night, reflecting the Sonlight...