Attitude

It was the weirdest sensation to work after school today. It was the first day of my life in which I so totally switched sides. Instead of being taught, I taught... and I even had to leave ten minutes early to do it! *gasp!* The problem is that after a long hard day of absorbing information (I know... tedious), I tend to crave a little "me-time." In which there is nothing inherently wrong except when I'm supposed to be serving.

It's then that my self-serving attitude turns from a though to action to sin. Because when it's all about someone else, making them feel happy and enabling them to do what they wouldn't otherwise be able to do (not to talk about God), simply put... it's not about me. I was tired, I was cranky, I twisted the day plan to fit my needs, my laziness, my unwillingness to drag her from store to store to get "kisses" on her hands. She's definitely an extrovert... and me... well, just let's just say that it depends on the *day*. And this was most assuredly not my best one.

How do I change that? How do I push beyond myself, my very core of tired, overworked, not wanting to serve... ness? I physically can't. I tried today... well, once again, here comes the lazy part applying to my initiative... but it still didn't work.

There's lots of things coming up this week. Things filling my days, requiring hours ahead of time to prepare,  homework, meetings, work, and everything else that constitutes my life at this present moment. But I need to dance in the craziness... and I find that hard when I'm caught in the sludge of selfishness. There's only One who can break me free... I'm still trying to figure out and apply exactly how that works though.